Chinese Stories in English
Stories Magazine (Page 10)
Selections from Stories Magazine Compilation #145 《故事会合订本145》上海文化出版社
Page citation and links to online Chinese text noted after each story.
1. Fighting the Birds 3. Road Rage 4. Difficult Drain
2. His Last Contest 5. Handsome Guy
1. Fighting the Birds (斗鸟)
Guan Shuiqun (关水群)
Old Man Meng owns a half-acre vegetable field in the east end of the village. His wife Melody has been connected to the land all her life and planted peanuts there this year. But the exasperating thing is, when the peanuts had just sprouted but not yet completely emerged from the ground, flocks of birds picked them out of the soil with their sharp beaks and ate them.
If planting peanuts doesn’t work out, plant corn! But that failed too, since those damn birds still wreaked havoc with the seeds Melody planted, even though she tried every possible way to protect them. She tied scarecrows to poles, banged on tin pans, waved red flags, shouted and chased the birds away, all to no avail.
Melody finally had to ask her husband for help. "You’ve got nothing to do, old man, so why don't you buy a slingshot and shoot the birds! That way you can drive those pernicious things away and get some exercise to boot. Maybe you’ll even become a sharpshooter."
Old Man Meng didn’t have a mind to do that, though, and he turned her down right away. "The birds are all second-class protected animals. You want me to get thrown in jail for shooting them?"
Since she really had no other way, Melody gritted her teeth and bought some rat poison on the sly. She intended to mix it into wheat kernels to feed to the birds. But the bait unexpectedly disappeared the day after she secretly mixed in the poison. She knew it must have been her husband’s doing, so she went to have it out with him. The two had a big quarrel.
When he saw that the birds were about to become the death of his wife, Old Man Meng gave the matter some serious thought. Eventually he told her, "Stop all this nonsense, old woman. Just plant peanuts again! I promise, I have a way to keep the birds from ruining our field anymore!" Melody didn’t quite believe the old man, but he’d succeeded in everything he tried to do during their several years of marriage, so she agreed.
She got a surprise, though. That night Old Wei, father of the village’s Big Kahuna, came to their house unannounced and complained. "You’re really something, Old Man Meng! My boy was just looking for something to do, so he went up to the north woods and shot a few birds. Why’d you go and turn him in to the cops?"
It didn’t take long for Melody to figure out what had happened. Recently Big Kahuna and some other guys had been using slingshots to shoot birds in the north woods. Shooting birds is illegal, and Old Man Meng went to the police station to report him. The police caught Big Kahuna red-handed when was shooting birds in the forest that afternoon and took him off to jail.
Once she realized what was going on, Melody also got angry and started to chew out her husband. "You said you had a way to stop those birds from causing us trouble, didn’t you? So your way was to stop Big Kahuna from killing birds? The birds are pests and it’d be better if they were all dead! But what you did is backwards. Instead of going to kill them, you actually went and reported Big Kahuna for killing them...."
Old Man Meng didn’t say a word, just listened silently to Melody’s and Old Wei's complaints. It was Big Kahuna’s own fault, after all, for breaking the law by hunting birds. Old Wei eventually finished venting his anger and went home.
Melody’s anger lingered, though. She laid into her husband every few days, but Old Man Meng just smiled deferentially and said nothing. What puzzled Melody was that the birds did in fact disappear and didn’t come around to spoil her plantings anymore.
A week later, while watching the peanut seedlings spread all over the field, Melody got so curious she had to ask her husband. "Old man, could those birds be smart enough to know that you protected them by reporting Big Kahuna? And now they’re returning the favor by not coming back to ruin our crop?"
Old Man Meng couldn't help laughing at his wife's curious expression. "Think about it. While we’ve been farming here for so many years, the birds have been catching their insects in the woods and never been a plague on us. But then Big Kahuna and the others started hunting birds every day, ruining their territory. Those poor birds didn't dare to go back to the woods to hunt for insects, so they had to look for food elsewhere. Now the police have given their territory back to them, so they don’t have to go to the trouble of coming here for your peanuts!"
Chinese text from 故事会合订本#145, p. 3-010. Also available here.
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2. His Last Contest (最后一搏)
Ma Haitao (马海涛)
Little Treasure Gao loved to play cards,* but he wasn’t good at it and lost a lot of money. Recently he made a new friend, Old Luo, who told him about an opportunity to recoup his losses. But Old Luo wanted "first things first", that is, a cash-up-front transaction. He asked Treasure to wait in a teahouse with enough "bullets", and a BMW would pick him up to take him to a place where Old Luo would be waiting for him.
Treasure went to the teahouse that morning with a briefcase containing tens of thousands of yuan that he’d borrowed from various sources. He saw a silver BMW approaching before long and went out to meet it. A middle-aged man stuck his head out of the car window and asked, "You’re Mr. Gao?" Treasure nodded, opened the back door and got in.
Two people were in the car. The middle-aged man sitting in the passenger seat called himself Big Hair, and the driver was his brother, Second Hair. The BMW left the city and, before Treasure knew it, they’d arrived at a community of high-end villas in the suburbs. He took a close look. Wasn't this the celebrated Swan Lake Villas? "Is Old Luo here?" he asked.
To his surprise, Big Hair sat up and asked, "Who’s Old Luo?" Both of them were shocked. Treasure was the first to explain why he’d come.
Big Hair sat in silence for a while, then scowled and slapped his head. It seemed they’d picked up the wrong person! He said they were supposed to discuss a business deal with an executive named Zhong, but he and his brother weren’t good at making sales pitches, so they’d asked a friend for help. The friend recommended a young man named Mr. Gao. Coincidently, the time and place to pick up that Mr. Gao coincided with the appointment Old Luo had made with Treasure. What's more, Treasure looked quite similar to the person described by the other party, so they brought him to the villa without realizing their mistake.
Treasure got nervous and called Old Luo, but his friend’s phone was turned off. Big Hair thought about it and said that if Treasure was willing to help negotiate, he could get tens of thousands of yuan when the deal closed. Treasure rolled his eyes but agreed.
Treasure knocked on the door of one of the villas. When it opened, and before he had time to react, he saw Second Hair knock the villa’s owner, Mr. Zhong, to the ground and tie him up tightly. Big Hair took out a dagger and, turning his head to look at Treasure, sneered, "Just your luck. Did you really think we’d come here to talk business?"
It seems the two brothers had intended to rob the guy all along. They both liked to gamble, but they ran short of money recently and targeted Mr. Zhong because he lived alone in a mansion. They worried about their lack of experience as robbers, so they needed to find a more powerful helper. Big Hair posted an anonymous ad on the internet and someone did respond.
They messaged the guy and learned he was indeed an old hand at robbery, so they agreed to work together on that day. The guy was super cautious, though: He only revealed his last name, Gao, and gave a general description of his appearance. That’s why the brothers mistook Treasure for him. Big Hair had already brought Treasure to Mr. Zhong's house and didn't dare let him go, so he lied and tricked Treasure into coming inside.
Big Hair first tried to force Mr. Zhong to hand over all his money, but Mr. Zhong pleaded loudly, "You got the wrong person! I'm poorer than any of you!" He claimed that he’d in fact been heavily in debt for a long time. He’d even mortgaged his villa to the bank.
When Big Hair checked Mr. Zhong's phone, he found a bunch of messages from debt collectors. He went ballistic and ordered Second Hair to lock Mr. Zhong in the basement at once. Then he turned around and noticed Treasure's briefcase. He grabbed it and found the bundle of money inside.
Treasure's phone suddenly rang. It was a call from Old Luo. Big Hair gestured for Treasure to answer. He did, but didn't dare ask Old Luo for help. All he could do was stammer and ask Old Luo why he’d turned off his phone. Old Luo explained that the battery had run out. Then he turned the table and complained that Treasure didn’t answer his phone. He'd been playing cards but the game broke up when he couldn't reach Treasure. Treasure didn't dare say anything more and hung up.
Big Hair picked up Treasure's briefcase and was about to leave with Second Hair when, out of the blue, the doorbell rang. The two brothers and Treasure suddenly got nervous. Big Hair kept Treasure under control and signaled for Second Hair to open the door.
To Treasure's surprise, when the newcomer took off his face mask and sunglasses, it turned out to be Old Luo. As soon as he came inside, he laughed and told Treasure: "I guessed you were here! It looks like you’ve got three for a game and need me for a fourth. Let's get at it."
Big Hair and Second were flabbergasted, and even Treasure couldn't figure out what was happening. “Is Old Luo here to save me?” he wondered. “How did he know I was here?”
Big Hair had noticed a bulge at Old Luo's waist. It looked like he had a pistol, so Big Hair gave his brother a look to tell him not to do anything rash.
Treasure's brain worked quickly. The two brothers had weapons, but judging from their attitude towards Old Luo, it seemed they were unwilling to mess with him. The result of this life-and-death confrontation was hard to predict. Treasure calmed down and introduced Big Hair to Old Luo as the owner of the villa.
The four of them sat down at a mahjong table in the living room to talk, and before long they started playing. The game was one-sided. The two brothers and Treasure were no match for Old Luo. He won hand after hand and their losses totaled tens of thousands of yuan. Big Hair was furious and signaled to Second Hair. The two were about to get up and have at Old Luo, but he was ready for them. He pulled out a pistol in a flash and pointed it at Big Hair.
Old Luo claimed he was a policeman. He tossed a pair of handcuffs to Treasure and told him to cuff the two brothers together. Treasure did as he was told, then tentatively picked up his briefcase and tried to leave. Something hit him hard on the back of his head and he fell to the ground.
Old Luo stood behind Treasure with a strange grin on his face. He snatched up the briefcase and put his face mask and sunglasses back on. He was headed for the door when, all of a sudden, a group of armed police officers barged into the room. "No one move!" Old Luo reluctantly raised his hands….
What was going on? It turned out that Old Luo was the accomplice Big Hair had found on the internet. Gambling was just a hobby for him -- robbery was his main occupation. He and Big Hair hit it off right away. They planned to rob Mr. Zhong but hesitated the day before the operation. It was just too risky to rob a place in a community of villas in broad daylight. Old Luo thought of Treasure being so desperate to recoup his losses. He planned for Treasure to "impersonate" himself and join the gang in the crime.
That’s why Old Luo tricked Treasure into taking a ride with his card-playing buddies, and at the same time made Big Hair think he was going to pick up an accomplice. This caused the "misunderstanding" between Treasure and the brothers.
Old Luo predicted that Treasure would join in the robbery after the truth came out, or if he didn’t, Big Hair wouldn’t readily let him go. Old Luo could wait for them to work things out among themselves, then go in and "rob the robbers". He waited outside the villa and watched them go in, then called Treasure to find out the situation. He knew that the two brothers were also gambling addicts, so he decided to sit down with them at the card table as a distraction.
Old Luo was cunning enough to prepare a fake gun and pretend to be a policeman to catch the thieves at a critical moment. He thought he could get away with all the loot, but he ran into the real cops.
Treasure grimaced and shook his head. He knew he’d been lucky to win his "last contest" and hated Old Luo for beating him so miserably. He’d told his friends that, if he lost again, they should call the police and have him arrested for gambling, and not even think about being upset.
He didn't expect to run into such a strange situation. When he heard Old Luo lie about being a policeman, he felt the situation had gotten even more strange. He discreetly sent his location to his friends so they could summon the police.
Once the truth was revealed, Treasure saw the big picture. Gambling is all about deception, and even more frightening, he could never know whether his gambling buddies were showing their true faces. He’d better turn over a new leaf and live an honest life from then on.
Translator’s Note: Unless otherwise specified, “play cards” in Chinese means “play mahjong”.
Chinese text from 故事会合订本#145, p. 3-012. Also available here.
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3. Road Rage (路怒症)
A Mao (阿毛)
Not long ago, Little Bright Ma was about to have a birthday. His family used to go to a restaurant to celebrate the event, but his mother called him two days ago to tell him they’d be eating at home this year due to the epidemic. She also asked him to bring his fiancée, Graceful Qin, home with him.
When the day arrived, Graceful went to a supermarket early in the morning to buy some gifts for her future parents-in-law. Then she hurried over to Bright's residence and, when she went in, she saw that he was still sleeping. She had to call his name several times before he woke up. It was almost eleven o'clock before the couple headed out.
Bright was a little anxious because he’d wasted time sleeping in. He started complaining that more cars crowded the road than usual: "It's the weekend. Why’s traffic so heavy? What a pain!" He was well known for his road rage affliction, as everyone who’d ever ridden in his car knew from experience. Graceful, being his girlfriend, was a veteran "victim" of his conduct. She had to endure his constant grumbling whenever she sat in his passenger seat. The two had often quarreled about it on those occasions when some dangerous situation arose.
Just last weekend, for example, Graceful accompanied Bright when he drove his parents to the hospital for physicals. While they were passing through an intersection, a car in the through lane sped up and changed lanes in front of him to make a left turn. Graceful didn’t give it a second thought, since the guy used his turn signal and didn’t cut Bright off. If she’d been driving, she’d have let the guy in and kept going.
Bright, though, took it as a provocation. After they were through the intersection, he deliberately cut in front of the other guy and rolled down his window to "argue" with him. It was obviously dangerous! Everyone in the car was shocked by Bright’s actions and broke into a cold sweat.
Graceful scolded him: "Why can’t you control your impulses, Bright? You’ve got your whole family with you. What if you had an accident?" His parents were also very angry with him, but there was nothing they could do about it.
Bright acted nonchalant. "With my driving skills, how could I get into an accident? Why’d that guy cut me off? People like him need to be taught a lesson!"
Now they were at the same intersection where the incident happened the previous weekend. Bright was about to turn into the left turn lane but wasn’t really paying attention. A motorcycle overtook him all of a sudden, cut in front of him, and then stopped at the red left-turn light. Bright was enraged again, as per usual. He stepped on the gas and drove up alongside the motorcycle, and rolled down his window to chew the driver out. "Where’d you learn how to ride a bike?"
The motorcyclist seemed perplexed. He flipped up his helmet’s visor and asked, "What’s wrong with the way I ride?"
"Didn't you see I was going to change lanes? You motorcyclists piss me off, the way you’re always weaving in and out of traffic. You have no manners!"
This made motorcycle driver a little angry. "I have a right to be in this lane. It’s clear that you changed lanes without using your turn signal. And you call me rude?"
Bright wanted to continue the fight but Graceful stopped him from the passenger seat. "Come on, let it go. You're always arguing with people. Why can't you just give in a little?"
This failed to calm Bright down and, on the contrary, made him angrier. As a result, he turned and took a potshot at his girlfriend. "Why are you so ungrateful? Whose side are you on?" he whined, eyeballing her.
Graceful didn’t yield. "I just don't want you constantly quarrelling with people. Don't make mountains out of molehills!"
Bright let his emotions take control and spoke without thinking. "Who the heck is your boyfriend? If you can't take my side, you shouldn’t ride in my car. Go ride that bike with him!" He thought Graceful would act like she always had, just mutter a bit and then get over it. He was surprised when she opened the car door, got out, walked over to the motorcycle in a huff and climbed on it.
Bright was stunned. He sat there for a moment, speechless, his eyes wide open in surprise. The motorcyclist handed Graceful a helmet and, when the traffic light turned green, drove off with her.
The car behind Bright started honking, which brought him back to his senses. The motorcycle was long gone by then. Bright went home very depressed. When his mother saw that he’d come alone, she asked "What happened? Where’s Graceful?" Bright sat on the sofa without saying a word, looking unhappy.
Bright’s parents kept after him and eventually he told them the whole story. He thought they’d take his side and commiserate with him, but before he finished speaking, his father unexpectedly snorted and stood up. "What? You made Graceful so mad she left? You’re always like that. Can’t you control your temper?"
His mother also laid into him. "Why do you always quarrel with people when you drive? You almost caused a wreck last weekend when you took us for our physicals. Your father and I didn't want to say anything in front of Graceful, but this time you actually made her so mad she left. I wonder where you’ll ever find a wife!" The two elders turned and walked into their bedroom after they had their say, leaving Bright alone in the living room.
As the saying goes, Bright was "abandoned by everyone, even his own kin." He sat on the sofa and hung his head. It could be said that he still felt a little put out when he got home, but now he’d begun to regret that his bad temper made him blow up at the slightest provocation. The more he thought about it, the more annoyed with himself he became. He pounded his thigh several times with a clenched fist before picking up his phone and giving Graceful a call. “Where are you, Girlfriend?” His tone was completely different from what it had been on the road a few minutes before.
"What’s it to you where I am?” he heard her say on the phone. “We’ve got nothing to do with each other. I don't want to marry anyone with such a bad temper, and I don't think you can change!" She spoke calmly and firmly.
Bright panicked. It seemed she was going to give up on him completely. She was breaking up with him! She listened silently while he kept babbling about how sorry he was, then replied, "You need to reflect on this, but it has nothing to do with me anymore. I hope your next girlfriend won't be like me, sitting in your car in constant fear!"
She hung up the phone. When Bright tried to call her back, he discovered that she’d blocked him. He didn't know where she was and couldn't get through on the phone. He was so anxious that he almost cried.
His mother came out of the bedroom when she heard him talking on the phone. She saw how sad he looked and said glumly, "Look at how listless you are now. You’re a lot more energetic when you’re fighting with people, aren’t you? If you don't get Graceful back here today, forget about dinner!"
Bright seemed to have given up. He held his head in his hands for a long time before going to his room. After a while he came back out with a piece of paper that he handed to his mother. "Mom,” he whimpered, Graceful’s blocked me on WeChat and won’t take my phone calls. I wrote a letter to her promising I’ll change. Please send it to her on WeChat for me."
His mother's expression relaxed. She read the letter, took a photo of it and sent it to Graceful. Bright wanted to use her phone to call Graceful, but she snatched the phone away. "It's enough that I sent your letter to her. Don't use my phone to call her. You’ve got to find a way to handle your mistakes by yourself!"
So Bright had no choice. All he could do was stay by his mother waiting for her phone to ring. He waited a long time, but she didn't call. He was headed out to look for her but, when he opened the door, to his surprise he saw someone standing there. The person was holding a cake and was about to knock on the door. Who could it be, if not Graceful?
Bright was both surprised and happy. He hugged Graceful and apologized with tears in his eyes, promising that he’d change. His mother came over to take the cake from Graceful. "Come on in,” she said. Don't just stand there. The neighbors will laugh at you." Then she went into the kitchen and brought out the food she’d prepared for dinner.
At the dinner table, Bright kept serving food to Graceful while they ate.* His politeness made her a bit uncomfortable. When he wasn’t looking, she gave his parents a sly wink. The three of them smiled at each other discreetly, saying everything without words.
It seems that the three of them had arranged the entire incident. Bright made his parents very angry the previous weekend, and Graceful decided something needed to be done before his "road rage" caused real trouble. She thought long and hard and came up with a plan. She discussed her idea with Bright’s parents and got their consent. She also asked one of her coworkers, the motorcycle driver, for help. Together, they acted out the scene at the intersection to teach Bright a lesson and get him to change his ways.
Fortunately, Bright wasn’t a "hopeless case". He at least had sense enough to admit his mistakes. And Graceful wasn’t worried. After all, if she caught him quarreling with someone in the future, she still held his letter promising to change.
*It’s considered polite in China to serve food from communal dishes or even one’s own plate to people sitting beside you. Formerly it was acceptable to use one’s own chopsticks to do so, but nowadays communal serving chopsticks are preferred.
Chinese text from 故事会合订本#145, p. 3-017. Also available here.
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4. A Difficult Drain (难通的下水道)
Sun Guoyan (孙国彦)
Clogged wastewater lines are probably the most annoying thing about living on the first floor of a high-rise [in China]. One Ding had lived in his first-floor condo less than half a year when his kitchen drain line clogged up, spewing dirty water all over the floor. He checked and found that the wastewater line ran through an empty storage room in the basement. The actual blockage was underground, so he had to ask the property manager to handle it.
The property manager claimed that problems with a condo’s interior had to be resolved by the owner. The current price for roto-rooter service was one hundred yuan, which was usually shared by several households. One Ding had to rush home and look in the public area of his high-rise for an ad for unclogging pipes.
He was about to contact a plumber when his wife stopped him. "Wait a sec! If you call the guy yourself without telling anyone, who’ll know you paid to have the drainage line unclogged? And who’ll agree to share the cost based just on your say-so?" One Ding patted his forehead and said his wife thought of everything.
Three families lived in the four-story building. Three Zhang occupied the third floor, Four Li* the fourth floor, and the second floor was vacant. The neighbors weren’t acquainted, even though they lived so close. At most, they’d nod when they ran into each other.
One Ding went to the third floor first. He knocked on the door for some time, but no one answered. When he went to the fourth floor and knocked, an old lady who claimed to be Four Li's mother-in-law opened the door. One Ding politely explained what he wanted, but before he could finish, the old lady yelled, "Come off it. We’ve already cleared this line once, just after the people on the third floor moved in. I didn’t think it’d be appropriate to ask them to contribute, so I spent a hundred yuan myself to hire a roto-rooter."
One Ding hadn't expected that. He was quick to say, "I'm really sorry. I didn't understand the situation." In view of what she said, he decided to pay for a plumber himself this time.
The man he hired arrived right away. He pried open a manhole cover, pointed at the wastewater line and said, "It’s no wonder such a small pipe gets stopped up! The pipes in other communities are all 110 millimeters in diameter, but yours is only 75 millimeters. The building contractor cut corners."
Ding swore under his breath from anger, but there was nothing he could do about it. “So what if it gets clogged,” he thought. “It only costs a hundred yuan to clear it. We can all just take turns paying.” But things weren’t as simple as that.
The sewer clogged up again a few months later, and this time it was Three Zhang's turn. But when One Ding went to Three Zhang's house and told him about it, Three Zhang refused to believe him. "You say you all unclogged it once, but if I say I unclogged it once, would you believe me?"
One Ding was a little unhappy and said, "The neighbors on the fourth floor know about it, too. If you don't believe me, go ask them. An adult like me wouldn't lie for a hundred bucks."
Three Zhang shook his head: "I won't go ask them. I didn't see them clearing the drain line. Besides, it's not my fault if it’s clogged. My drain filter is very clean."
Three Zhang’s intransigence started a fire in One Ding’s heart. He turned around and went downstairs to his condo. He told his wife what happened and concluded, "From today on, we won’t use the kitchen. We’ll go to restaurants. I can't believe that bastard wouldn't deal with me." He immediately took action to back up his tough-guy manner. He pulled the drain hose off the sink and sealed the pipe opening tightly. That way, if water drained down the line from the upper floors, it would have nowhere to go except back up.
Sure enough, the next day, Three Zhang made an emergency call to a plumber. One Ding felt relieved, like a general who killed ten thousand enemy soldiers. He’d won a victory, even if he had to lose eight thousand of his own troops to do it.
A little over six months passed in a flash before the drain clogged up again. This time Three Zhang was the first to lose his cool. He ran up and down the stairs calling on One Ding and Four Li. He offered each of them a cigarette, smiled at them and made a proposal. "The damn drain’s clogged again, Brothers. I didn’t understand before. Let's discuss what we ought to do about it."
Three Zhang's good attitude relieved One Ding. He puffed on his cigarette and offered, "It would’ve been great if we’d done this earlier, but let’s talk about what we can do now. How about taking turns? We can keep an eye on each other so no one suffers any loss. I'll go first this time!" The other two nodded in agreement.
All three were relieved that the problem had been solved. They were about to call a plumber, but when they went to the storage room, they found to their surprise that the door was locked. The storage room was on the second floor, where no one lived, and had always been ajar before.
Needless to say, the owner of the second-floor condo must have locked the door. They went to the property manager to get the guy’s phone number and found out that his name was Two Niu.
Not long after, Two Niu came to the building to get together with the other owners. He was about to say something when One Ding interrupted and recounted the whole story, concluding, "The three of us have each paid once to clear the drain. Logically, it should be your turn this time, but since you haven't moved in yet, I'll do it this time." He glanced at Two Niu, who looked like One Ding had done him a great favor. Three Zhang and Four Li also nodded repeatedly.
Then Two Niu said calmly, "So, you want to unclog the drain? OK. Give me a hundred bucks and I'll open the door right now."
The other three were flabbergasted and seemed not to understand. Finally Three Zhang piped up, "What do you mean, Brother? We didn't ask you for money, so why are you demanding a toll to get into the room? That's really a crock!"
"I haven't even moved in yet, but the storage room is already filthy. It’ll be even more of a hassle when I do move in. Who should I ask for money if I don't ask you guys?" Two Niu held out his hand. "A total of 400 yuan for the previous three times plus this time. Pay in full and I’ll open the door pronto. Or you can find some other way."
This agitated the other three owners. The guy was obviously extorting them, wasn’t he? One Ding suppressed his anger and said, "Brother, as the saying goes, a distant relative is not as good as a close neighbor."
Two Niu grinned and interrupted him. "Some good neighbor you are. The entire community has heard how you flooded the third floor." One Ding's face turned red. Three Zhang and Four Li didn’t look any happier.
Since the two sides couldn’t reach an agreement, they had to contact Property Management. The staff tried there for a long time to persuade Two Niu to do the right thing, but he refused to budge. The staff spread their hands helplessly and concluded, "Why don't you sue him? You really don’t have any other choice."
After Two Niu left, the other three discussed whether it was worth going to court over such a small matter. It wouldn’t keep the drain line from continually clogging up! One Ding thought for a moment and decided, "In my opinion, we should file a lawsuit. Otherwise this matter will go on and on. I don't believe the law will allow such a person to do whatever he wants."
Three Zhang and Four Li didn’t have a better idea, so they nodded in agreement. They decided to consult a lawyer the next morning. None of them dared use their kitchen while the drain was clogged, so they just threw together a quick meal.
One Ding was awakened the next morning by the piercing whine of an electric saw. He went out to investigate and, to his surprise, found two workers cutting into the concrete floor. A large-diameter PVC pipe lay on the ground next to them. They stopped when he asked them what they were doing and answered, "This drainpipe’s too small. We’re putting in a bigger one."
One Ding seemed to understand. However, he asked, "Did Property Management ask you to install the new one?"
One of the workers shook his head. "It’d be great if they had. They wouldn't have made us come here so early in the morning. It was Two Niu who wanted us to come right away. He said everyone in the building was waiting for dinner."
One Ding understood completely and his heart warmed up. His face felt hot, too. You can think about yourself or think about other people -- the two mindsets and ways of doing things are indeed different! Out of the blue, he remembered something. He asked the workers how much they were being paid and whether Two Niu had already paid them. They answered, "We agreed to do it for three hundred yuan, but he hasn't paid us yet. He said he’d pay us after making sure we did a good job."
One Ding nodded and went back to his condo. His wife had gotten out of bed and asked him what all the noise was. He repeated what the workers had told him, sighing all the time. His wife also sighed when she heard the story and asked him what to do next. "What else?” he replied. “The three of us should share the cost. We can't let Brother Two Niu take on the whole cost! I’ll go collect the money in a while. I believe they’ll all be happy to pitch in!"
One Ding, Two Niu, Three Zhang, and Four Li got together in friendship that evening for dinner. Two Niu raised his glass and proposed a toast. "First of all, I organized this dinner party. If anyone else tries to pay the bill, I’ll get angry."
Everyone downed their drink in one gulp. One Ding declared, "Welcome to the building, Second Brother Niu. We hope you move in soon! Second Brother Niu is quite a guy! As soon as he shows up, the drain line gets cleared."
Three Zhang and Four Li smiled in agreement. "The most important thing is that our hearts are also clear."
Translator’s note: Three Zhang and Four Li (张三李四) are the Chinese equivalent of Tom, Dick and Harry.
Chinese text from 故事会合订本#145, p. 3-017. Also available here.
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5. A Handsome Guy (英俊的小哥)
Ai Chenxi (艾晨曦)
Young Beauty was a co-ed who often ordered takeout food. She was a VIP customer, and the same group of young men always handled her order. One among them was so handsome that Beauty couldn't keep her eyes off him. When she was about to graduate, she wasn’t too enthusiastic about leaving school because she wouldn’t see the handsome fellow again.
One day at lunchtime she called the restaurant and placed an order. As luck would have it, when she went to pick it up, that handsome young fellow handled her order. She stared at him as usual, and he uncharacteristically stared back at her. He seemed to want to say something but hesitated.
Beauty returned to her dorm and told her best friend, "What a downer! I might never see him again after I graduate.”
Her friend suggested, "Didn't he just call you to tell you your order was ready? Just call him back!"
Beauty jumped at the idea and took out her cell phone to call him, but the number she dialed was invalid -- it turned out the food delivery app only displayed virtual numbers on both parties' phones to protect their privacy.
Her friend thought for a moment and then advised, "So make another order." Beauty immediately called in an order for milk tea. Her phone rang a few minutes later, and it was indeed that handsome guy!
When he heard Beauty's voice, the young man told her, "I guessed this order was yours, so I grabbed it. Turns out I was right!"
Beauty's face “instantaneously” turned red. "Yes, it's me! What did you want to talk to me about?"
"Well, I do have something to say to you. I wanted to say it before, but I never had the courage to say it out loud."
Now feeling rather shy, Beauty replied, "Well, if you have something to say, just spit it out."
"Hey, I want to, but I can't seem to get it out...." The young man sounded very embarrassed. Beauty's heart was pounding, but she suppressed her excitement. "It's okay,” she encouraged him, “go ahead and say it. I'm listening."
The young man hesitated some more but finally said, "It's been four years, and I’ve watched you get fat! You just finished lunch and you’re going to drink some milk tea. Can’t you see how fat you’re getting! You really should eat less from now on!"
Chinese text from 故事会合订本#145, p. 2-095. Also available here.