Chinese Stories in English
Stories Mag 165 (Page 01)
Selections from Stories Magazine Compilation #165 《故事会合订本165》上海文化出版社
Page citation and links to online Chinese text noted after each story.
1. Two Men, Mao and Jia 3. A Sense of Superiority 4. Living Water
2. Big Ear Liu 5. The Substitute's Liaison
1 Two Men, Mao and Jia (毛贾二人)
Feng Jicai (冯骥才)
This story is indeed true. However, no one can say clearly what year it happened.
The public toilet was in a sunny spot on Dan Street on the south bank of the South Grand Canal [in Tianjin]. No one dared enter it at night, though, because there was no light. If you went in and fumbled around in the dark, you might end up stepping into the pit.
A man, thin as a hungry ghost, did walk in late one night. He held an empty basket in his arms. He went to the center of the toilet, turned the basket upside down so that the bottom faced upwards, and put one foot on it. Then he untied his belt and tried to tie it to the beam in the ceiling. He intended to hang himself.
But when he looked up, he saw another noose already tied to the beam. Who put it there? He pulled on it with his hands and found it was tied quite firmly. He thought he could use it, but just as he was about to stick his head in, he heard a voice in the darkness below: "Don't use that. It’s mine."
Startled, the thin man thought he’d encountered a ghost. He panicked and jumped off his basket at once. He only then noticed a figure sitting on a stool.
"Who are you?" he asked.
"It’s none of your business who I am. We both want to die, but let’s do it separately. Why ask my name?"
"Because we‘ve run into each other, and we’re both about to die. Are you afraid of my asking?"
The man sitting on the stool replied, "OK. You go first. Why are you looking to die?" The thin man’s eyes had gradually gotten used to the dark by then and he could make out the scene in the dark toilet. He couldn't quite see what the man sitting on the stool looked like, but he could tell that the fellow was quite broad and fat.
"Okay,” the thin man said. “I have a small business selling odds and ends. I lost money, so I borrowed some, but I couldn't pay it back and fell deeper and deeper in debt. I worried myself sick but couldn’t think of a way out, so I decided to end it all. What about you?"
The fat man didn't answer directly. He just asked the thin man, "How much do you owe?"
"Forty taels. How could I ever pay back so much money? Dying’s my only option."
No one could’ve anticipated the fat man’s reply. "You’d sacrifice your life for such a small amount of money, and maybe the lives of your entire family as well. Here,” he continued solemnly, "take this silver ingot. It’s fifty taels. I’m giving it to you so you can pay off your debt. Don't die!"
"You’re about to die and you’re still playing games!” the thin man shouted. “If you had that much money you wouldn’t want to die, would you? You want to die because of money problems, right?"
"It’s money for me, too. I was a private banker, but a bunch of people from Linfen City conned me. I lost my house and my wife ran off. I’m too ashamed to show my face to anyone, so I have no choice but to go see the King of Hell." The fat man said nothing more. There was no need to. He just told the thin man, "Take this ingot. It’s enough for you to pay off your debts. It can save you, but it can't save me."
The thin man wouldn’t accept it. "You’re about to die. How could I take your money?"
"I can’t take it with me where I’m going, can I? Take it and get out of here. Let me sit by myself in peace for a while. Once I hang myself from that beam up there, I won't be coming back."
The thin man never expected that anyone would help him when he was on the verge of going to Hell. To his surprise, the King of Hell didn't want him, and this ingot had fallen to him from out of the blue! He knelt on the ground and kowtowed three times to the man who’d saved his life, then ran home with the ingot in hand.
He told his wife everything when he got home. She cried at first, chastising him for thinking only of himself by choosing the easy way out, abandoning her and the children. But she was overjoyed at the sight of the silver ingot because they could pay off all their debts at once, literally snatching life from the jaws of death. Then she had a sudden thought. "The guy who saved you, you just walked away and left him to die?"
"What else could I do? He’s lost everything. When a mountain collapses, who can hold it up?"
"You should’ve at least invited him to our house to have some dumplings or noodles as a send-off. Let’s give him something to eat before he goes. I'll knead the dough and chop up some veggies right away. Meat’s nowhere to be had this late at night, so go to the Zhang family next door and borrow some eggs."
The thin man ran out to borrow eggs while his wife got busy cutting vegetables and kneading the dough. While she was rolling the dough into wrappers for the dumplings, the rolling pin fell to the floor. The floor was uneven and the rolling pin -- just a round stick, really -- rolled like a horizontal wheel to a corner where, strange to say, it bounced upright and fell “ka-thunk” into a mouse hole. She reached into the hole at once to dig it out, but when she grabbed something, she was surprised that it felt heavier than iron. She yanked it up and it turned out to be, not the rolling pin, but a big, shiny gold bar!
“What’s going on today?” she wondered. “Has the God of Wealth come into our home? We just got a silver ingot, and now we get a gold bar!” She thought she was dreaming, but she clearly wasn’t.
The thin man came back a short while later with eggs in his hands, and he was also stunned. The two of them hurried to clean up the debris in the corner. They dug with a hoe and a shovel and, believe it or not, found two pots filled with over a hundred gold bars.
The thin man was at a loss for words, but his wife kept her wits about her. She told her husband to run to the toilet right away and tell the fat man that he didn’t have to commit suicide anymore because they had money.
The thin man came to his senses. "You’re right. He saved us with his silver ingot, so we have to save him now."
"Get going!” she ordered. “He might already be hanging from the beam."
When he got to the toilet, the thin man found the fat man still sitting there crying. He pulled the fat man out of the toilet and took him all the way to his home. When the fat man saw the two pots full of gold bars, he couldn't understand what was going on.
The thin man smiled and explained, "With these gold bars, you don't have to commit suicide." The fat man shook his hands vigorously and said that was impossible.
"What do you mean? You used your silver ingot to save my family. Why would you say I can't use these gold bars to save your life?"
"Without your silver ingot,” the thin man's wife added, “we never would’ve found these two pots of gold. The King of Heaven felt sorry for you two fellows and staged all these events. If you wrote it all up as an opera, it’d be a good one."
So the two men divided the gold bars equally, one pot each. Afterwards, they both went into business operating retail shops. The thin man opened a store in Northgate specializing in Cantonese goods, including pressed duck, smoked meats, air-fried chicken, sausages and household sundries shipped from the south by water. The fat man opened an emporium in the small foreign goods section of Palace Street, selling trendy foreign items from “the great beyond”. Both businesses did well -- in fact they were blazing hot -- and both men made lots of money.
Despite getting rich, they never forget their friends. The two of them often visited each other. One day, after they’d both had a bit to drink, they reminisced about the past and decided to build a house together on Dan Street in the north of the city. Both families would move there to live, so that their descendants could keep in touch.
Those who survive a great disaster will surely be blessed with great fortune. These two men were indeed blessed with great fortune when they met in that latrine. They’d been reborn there, and found happiness in the depths of despair, so they decided the place was sacred to them. They settled on a piece of vacant land on the right side of Dan Street and bought it together. They hired a construction company to build two rows of houses, eight in each row, with doors facing. They left an alley in the middle for the families to share, so that people from the two families would meet each other whenever they went out or came home. They’d look after each other, just like one family.
The alley needed a name. The thin man’s surname was Mao, and the fat man’s surname was Jia, so it’s called Mao Jia Partnership Alley. I don't know whether they named it themselves or if someone else did. If the two of them came up with the name, it was because of the mutual goodwill that they wanted to keep alive for the long haul. If someone else shouted it out, it was to praise the two gentlemen for their affection and righteousness. They’d faced hard times together, and they stayed together when times were good.
Translator’s Note: If this story seems far-fetched, please see here.
Chinese text at 故事会合订本#165, p. 1-08. Also available here. Translated from 搜狐网 here.
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2. Big Ear Liu (刘大耳朵)
Zhou Hailiang (周海亮)
Big Ear Liu only had one ear. When he was a child, he and his younger brother were messing around and fell into a dry well. Their parents didn’t rescue them until two days later. The bottom of the well was usually cool in the summer and warm in the winter, but this was the dead of winter and the bottom was like an ice cellar. His brother was unharmed, but Big Ear lost one ear. Their mother said it was frozen off. At the time, his remaining ear was transparent as a sliver of ice and made a "ding-dong" sound when it bumped against the well wall.
The remaining ear grew like crazy. To the villagers, it seemed like all the nutrients he ate went into growing that one ear. It was thicker than a pancake and comparable to a shoulder in length. When he wandered around the village, his fat ear shook like Monk Tang on his journey to the west.
Big Ear never married, not only because of his ugly ear, but also because of his indolence. Few people ever saw him working in the fields. He spent his days roaming through the village or going to the nearby creek to catch fish and shrimp. He’d hide in the bushes and when women came to the creek to wash clothes, he’d jump out and throw a rock into the creek to splash water on them. They’d yell at him, "Big Ear, you low life!" That didn’t bother him. He'd walk past them, smirking, and dive into the creek, and be holding a big carp in his hand when his one-eared head emerged from the water.
He truly was an idle fellow. He could never achieve anything in his life. His brother, on the other hand, was completely different. He was always willing to work and study hard. He bought the village’s first walking tractor, planted ten acres of fruit trees on a hillside, and built the village’s only brick building, albeit a small one.
Sometimes Big Ear’s brother would goad him. “Why don’t you sign a contract for a couple of acres and plant an orchard?”
“What for?”
“It’s a way to get started, that’s what for. It’s how I got my start, isn’t it?”
Big Ear considered it for a moment before replying, "Nah." He thought a little more and then said, "The way I look, no woman’d have me no matter how much money I made."
His brother didn’t like hearing that. "You’ve never made any money. How do you know women won’t be interested in you?"
Big Ear curled his lips. "Even if they were interested, they’d just be after my money. I won’t do it!" He continued to spend his days wandering around the village. Later, if he got tired of wandering around, he’d sometimes go into town and come home drunk at night.
The villagers all wondered where he got the money to drink since he didn’t have a job. It wasn’t long before they figured it out: he was engaged in the unsavory profession of petty larceny.
At first he didn't steal anything valuable, just targeting tools the villagers left out in their yards and clothes hung out to dry. It was easy to steal such things back then because people didn’t latch their gates. He could stroll in, grab the stuff and leave. The villagers eventually took precautions, and his success rate dropped considerably. His appetite had grown by then and he decided to go after food, bicycles and even wallets. He made several attempts but the villagers caught him every time. Often they just beat him, but once they took him to the police station in town. They let him go when they reached the station door, though, because they wanted to give their fellow villager another chance.
He naturally stopped stealing after that. He idled away the days at his brother's house, sitting on the sofa and watching TV. His brother continued to urge him to go to work. He even offered, “I’ll front you the capital if you’ll raise chickens or cows, or plant fruit trees.” But Big Ear still refused, and his brother could do nothing about it. He couldn’t very well threaten him with a knife, after all.
Once, when Big Ear was still living with their mother, he was sitting in the yard, rice bowl in hand, eating. His brother told their mother, "Big Ear’s life might as well be over!"
Truth is, the two brothers had got along fairly well before that day, despite their completely different personalities and even though his brother often criticized Big Ear. The reason for their rift on that occasion was that Big Ear up and stole his brother's color TV.
His brother and his wife had gone out to work in the fields that day, while Big Ear stayed at their home alone watching TV. When they came home at noon, Big Ear and the TV were gone. His wife asked, "Did your brother take the TV to trade for booze?"
"No way."
It was evening before Big Ear staggered back from town. His brother asked, "Did you take the TV?"
"I borrowed it," Big Ear replied.
"Where is it?"
"Here!" Big Ear patted his stomach and burped. He took two hundred yuan from his pocket and said it was what was left, enough for half a month of drinking.
That was the day his brother hit Big Ear. The TV wasn’t important, but he was upset with the man. He thought, “How could he steal from his own brother? Even rabbits don't eat the grass near their nests. How could he do such a thing?”
He never let his brother step into his house after that, so Big Ear had to start stealing from the other villagers again. He stole everything he could lay his hands on. He got turned into the police several times, but each time his brother bailed him out. He didn’t like bailing Big Ear out, but he had no choice. Big Ear and their mother were the only family he had left in the world, and their mother was over 70 years old.
He was ashamed of Big Ear and didn't want to see him or talk about him. Sometimes, he even cursed his brother in the most venomous terms.
Things went on that way for several years until, one day, three brothers, the village bullies, caught Big Ear stealing two chickens. They chased him to give him a beating and he fled to the river in panic. With his "pursuers" getting closer and closer, he jumped into the river to get away. It was winter and while the river wasn’t frozen, the water was icy cold. Big Ear bobbed up and down in the water a few times and then sank. The three brothers fished around for him with a hook, but it was dawn before they pulled him out. By then his body was already frozen stiff.
News of Big Ear’s death hit his brother hard, but before long he began to feel relieved. Everyone in the village felt that way, except their mother. Later, just before she died, she called Big Ear's brother to her and told him, "Don't hate your brother."
"I don't," he answered.
"Do you know how your brother lost his ear?”
"Yeah, it was frozen off."
"No. You’d gone hungry in that well for two days and were about to die of starvation. When I found you, you were both unconscious. Your brother was holding you in his arms. One of his ears was gone, and your mouth was full of blood.
The young man was stunned and could hardly believe he’d heard her correctly. "Did I chew off my brother's ear?"
"I don't know. All I know is, when I found you two, your mouth was full of blood and your brother was missing an ear.
"No one knows what happened,” she continued. “You don’t remember, your brother didn’t remember, and the villagers never knew. Maybe you didn’t chew his ear off. Maybe, even if it wasn’t you that chewed it off, you still wouldn’t have starved to death."
What his mother said made no sense and he couldn't understand, but he still threw up. He vomited for a long time and cried while he vomited. He hoped it wasn’t true.
He found a notebook when he sorted out his mother's belongings after she passed. She was illiterate and treated all pieces of paper with words as sacred. The notebook was Big Ear’s diary, written while he was in junior high. He turned to one of the pages and saw....
“My brother bit off my ear. There will be no happiness in my life anymore….”
Chinese text at 故事会合订本#165, p. 1-11. Also available here.
Translated from 掌阅小说网 here. See also 搜狐网 here.
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3. A Sense of Superiority (优越感)
Gong Xiaohua (龚小花)
Auntie Zhang, a retired doctor, recently bought a nice residence. Just a few days after she moved in, she had a rather uncomfortable encounter with an acquaintance.
When she took a walk in the garden of her new community after lunch that day, she saw a group of young ladies line dancing in the commons. It looked like good exercise, so she walked over and joined in.
Her movements were a bit uncoordinated due to her lack of experience, and she became even more awkward as she danced. She had to keep peeking at the good dancers in the group. Soon she noticed a chubby woman in front of her whose movements were quite graceful but rather exaggerated, now extending her hands, now lifting her legs and now swinging her hips. As she watched, fascinated, she realized that she knew the woman…. “Well, darned if it isn't Aunt Fatty, that fat cleaning lady from where I used to work!”
Aunt Fatty turned around just then. She was taken aback when she first saw Auntie Zhang, but after a few seconds, she smiled and stepped up to her. She took her hand and smiled. "Doctor Zhang, it's you! I haven't seen you in years. You still look so young, I thought I was seeing things! Do you come here to line dance, too? Are you retired? I’m retired!"
Auntie Zhang was a little embarrassed. As a doctor, she was very particular about hygiene and didn't readily shake hands with anyone. She wanted to pull her hand away, but Aunt Fatty held it as tightly as if she were afraid her quarry would run away.
Auntie Zhang felt it was inappropriate for the woman to say she was she retired. Only those with pensions are considered "retired". She thought, “Where do you get off saying you’re retired? At best, you’re just not working as a cleaning lady anymore.”
Of course she didn't show her thoughts. She straightened her back, nodded politely and said, "Good for you, Aunt Fatty. You live here too?"
Aunt Fatty couldn't hide the delight on her face. She smiled and said, "Yes, my son opened a small company for himself after he graduated, and he bought me a condo."
Predictably, Auntie Zhang thought to herself, “Can graduates from vocational and technical schools make so much money now?“ Out loud, she asked casually, "Which school did your son graduate from?"
“Tsinghua.”
Auntie Zhang's eyes widened: "Your son went to Tsinghua University, one of China’s best schools? Why didn't you ever mention it to us?"
Aunt Fatty smiled again. "What was there to say? It was the boy's own hard work that got him there."
Auntie Zhang momentarily withered a bit for some reason. She brooded to herself, “This cleaning lady's son graduated from Tsinghua and started his own company. My son barely got into a second-tier university and now he’s lying around at home sponging off his parents. What kind of world are we living in?”
Aunt Fatty still had hold of Auntie Zhang’s hand. She didn’t stop talking until Auntie Zhang said "Aunt Fatty, I'm going to go take a break at that teahouse near here. You want to go?"
Aunt Fatty was surprised and quickly waved her hand. "No, no thanks. That teahouse is for you cultured people. I’m a country person and wouldn’t feel comfortable sitting there." Auntie Zhang's sense of superiority returned when Aunt Fatty called herself a "country person".
After they parted, Auntie Zhang reminded herself to avoid Aunt Fatty on future walks around the community. And she definitely couldn't go line dancing in the commons. It was just that Aunt Fatty was too gregarious. She’d latch on to people as soon as she saw them and talk their ears off. It made one uncomfortable!
Auntie Zhang was still thinking about this when she got home from her walk and was startled to see Aunt Fatty coming out of a neighboring condo. It turned out that the woman not only lived in the same community, but just across the hall!
Aunt Fatty clapped her hands and exclaimed, “What a stroke of luck!” Auntie Zhang kept smiling, but she was crying inside. She hurried into her condo after they’d exchanged a few pleasantries.
Once Auntie Zhang had learned they were neighbors, she was very cautious every time she went out. She couldn’t just leave whenever she wanted. She’d get ready to go somewhere, then tiptoe to the door and peek through the peephole at Aunt Fatty's condo. If she didn’t see anything, she’d jerk the door open and rush out; if she saw Aunt Fatty going out too, she’d wait until the woman got into the elevator before she opened her door. Auntie Zhang really didn't like the woman's endless chatter. She’d prattle getting into the elevator, jabber getting out of the elevator, and keep on blabbering after leaving the community.
Auntie Zhang also didn't like the other residents saying she and Aunt Fatty were close. She wondered to herself, “How close could we be? I was a doctor before I retired, and she was a cleaning lady, so how could we be close.”
However, no matter how careful she was, mistakes were made. One day, she peeked through the peephole as usual and, when she didn’t see any movement around Aunt Fatty's condo, she yanked open her door to leave. But just as she had one foot in the hall and one still in her condo, Aunt Fatty’s door opened unexpectedly. Auntie Zhang didn’t know whether to keep going out or go back in. Finally she gritted her teeth, put her head down and walked hurriedly toward the elevator.
Aunt Fatty was delighted to see Auntie Zhang going out: "Dr. Zhang, how come I haven't seen you in a while? I thought you were out traveling."
"I'm going to go touring with some old colleagues in a few days. Why don’t you come with us?" Auntie Zhang regretted the words "with us" as soon as she said them. Who’d want to go travelling with this woman?
"Okay, sure. Like sisters getting together, we’ll have lots to talk about.” Auntie Fatty was as happy as if she’d found something nice.
Auntie Zhang really wanted to slap herself in the face a few times for opening her mouth. “Who’s your sister,” she thought to herself. “Does this Aunt Fatty really think she’d fit in with a group of retired doctors?”
They got on the elevator while they were talking. Inside, Auntie Zhang noticed that her shoelace was untied, so she bent down to tie it. The moment she bent down, her eyes went dark and she fell to the floor, completely comatose. When she woke up, she found herself lying on a hospital bed.
Her mind was a little confused as she tried to recall what had happened. Just then Aunt Fatty pushed the door open and came in with some fruit. “Aunt Fatty,” she asked, “were you the one who saved me just now?”
Aunt Fatty was very excited to see that Auntie Zhang was conscious. "Dr. Zhang, are you awake? You scared me to death back there in the elevator. Have you been tired recently? Truth is, it was you who saved yourself. Have you forgotten? When I was a cleaning lady in your hospital, didn't the hospital often organize CPR training for us? You taught me everything I know about it!"
Auntie Zhang felt ashamed of herself. Her pathetic sense of superiority disappeared completely.
Chinese text at 故事会合订本#165, p. 1-17. Also available here.
Translated from 掌阅小说网, seventh story, here.
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4. Living Water (活水)
Lai Haishi (赖海石)
One day, while Abundance was keeping his mother company in her hospital room, a nurse asked him to step into the hall. She gently reminded him, “Payment for your mother's hospitalization is three days late. Go and pay right away or her treatment till be affected.“
Abundance looked embarrassed. "Please, Nurse, don't let the doctor stop treating my mother! I have a job but it's not payday yet.... I’ll think of something. I’ve borrowed all I can, but there’s got to be another way. I’ll go see my boss today and ask him for an advance."
Abundance went to see his boss right away but was disappointed. The man chewed him out and wouldn't give him one red cent. "An advance? There’s no precedent for that here. If I gave you the money in advance, you might run off and never come back. Then what could I do? I’d be a loser, right? I’ll give you every penny you earn, but don't even think about getting money without working for it. Keep your job if you want it but scram if you don’t!"
Abundance felt stressed. "I won't run off. I can leave my ID with you as a guarantee."
"What good would your ID do me?” The boss replied. “Quit your yakking and get back to work!"
After he got off work, Abundance had to go to the hospital and make a pitch to the nurse. “My boss doesn't want to give me an advance, but it doesn't matter. I’ll get pick-up jobs after work every day. I’ll definitely pay the hospital bill as soon as I can. If you don't believe me, I can leave my ID with you as a guarantee. "
The nurse shook her head. "We won't keep your ID, but you can give me a copy."
Abundance did look for pick-up jobs after every day after work. He intended to pay the hospital bill as soon as possible. One day after work, as he was wandering around the government’s Human Resources Market again, an old man stopped him and asked, "Are you looking for work?"
"Sure am,” Abundance answered. “I’ll do anything, but I do have one request. I need to be paid on the spot."
“Then come with me,” the old man said. Abundance followed him to a quaint, old-style residence. It was spacious, clean and luxuriously decorated. It obviously had once been occupied by a well-to-do family.
The old man handed Abundance a copper pot and told him, "Go to Evergreen Lake and fill this pot with water for me. I'll give you a hundred yuan. OK?"
Doubtful, Abundance said, "I know that lake. I’ve seen tons of people go there to get water. But paying me a hundred yuan? Isn’t that too much?"
"It’s a lot, of course, but good things are expensive. And I have a condition. You’ll have to go fill the pot during the Mao hour, which is between five and seven in the morning.”
Abundance agreed right away. "Deal. That’s before I have to be at work. I can fill the pot and bring it here and still make it to my job on time."
The next morning, Abundance handed the old man a pot of water from Evergreen Lake. The old man poured a cup, took a sip and nodded. "Yes, it's Evergreen Lake water." He gave Abundance one hundred yuan. “Fill the pot with Evergreen Lake water for me every morning from now on and I’ll give you a hundred yuan each time. If you need money right away, I can also advance you one month's salary."
Abundance was perplexed. "They sell a lot of high-quality mineral waters in the market, even processed water from Evergreen Lake. Why don't you buy your water there? That’d be way cheaper."
The old man laughed. "You’re an honest fellow. You’re right, they sell it at the market, but no matter how good it is, and no matter the cost, it’s dead water. Only water freshly drawn from Evergreen Lake is living water. I hired several people to fill the pot for me before you. They tried to fool me with bottled water and mineral water, but I saw through them. Don't try to trick me like they did."
Abundance nodded. "I’m no deadbeat. You’ll get what you want. In fact, I can give you a little more every time, enough to last a few days."
"That water would become dead water in no time. I want freshly drawn water every day. Living water."
One week not long after, Abundance went to the old man's house to express his appreciation. "Thank you, Sir! Because of your generosity, my mother could get the treatment she needed and has come home from the hospital.
“I learned your secret today. You used to be the hospital’s director and your daughter’s a nurse. You happened to learn about my situation from her. You sympathized with me and wanted to help, but you were afraid I’d lose face if I accepted charity. The idea you came up with, hiring me to fill a pot with water, was really just a way to help me out."
The old man smiled. "You have a secret too, don't you?"
Abundance scratched his head. "Me? What secret do I have?"
The old man said kindly, "The woman who was in the hospital is an elderly widow from your village. She’s not your mother, is she."
"How’d you find out? Oh, I know. You noticed that the address on my ID was different from hers, right? She’s my neighbor and was very kind to me when I was a child. Now she’s old and has health problems. Taking care of her is just something I should do."
"I have another secret,” the old man said cheerfully. “Truth is, I didn’t use to drink much tea, and when I did, I didn't care much what kind of tea it was. A friend gave me a box of Huangshan Houkui tea leaves, and I just let it sit there. But since you’ve been drawing water for me, I’ve used it to make some of the Houkui tea every day. This living water, well, it’s clear and sweet, and the tea, it’s mellow and rich. It leaves a lingering fragrance in my mouth. I like drinking it lots more now. Would you be willing to keep filling a pot of Evergreen Lake water for me every day?"
Abundance nodded. "You bet. But I’ll do it for free." He picked up the copper pot and ran out.
Chinese text at 故事会合订本#165, p. 1-20.
Also available here. Translated from掌阅小说网 何热 here.
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5 The Substitute's Liaison (替身的艳遇)
Wei Shengxu (韦升旭)
Big Root Li and Little Stem Zhang were extras for a TV production company. Big Root was a tall man in good shape, and sometimes he earned extra pay as a stand-in for the male lead. That made Little Stem, a small fellow, quite envious.
One day Big Root was told to stand in again for the male lead in a soap opera. A stand-in was needed for the final scene because the lead actor had something urgent to do and had to leave the set early. He was to die in battle and the female lead would kiss him goodbye.
Big Root had long worshiped the actress who played the leading female role from afar! He was ecstatic at this opportunity and wanted to brag to Little Stem right away, but he didn't see him.
The filming began once Big Root put on his makeup. He lay down on the ground and closed his eyes. The broken-hearted heroine rushed over and shed tears over Big Root's body.
Big Root had his eyes closed but could smell the fragrant powder on the heroine's body. You can’t imagine how delighted he felt as the kissing scene was about to begin, but when the heroine's mouth came close to him, he smelled the stench of garlic. He was so overcome that he had to hold his breath! Big Root wasn’t allowed to move after the heroine left; he had to stay where he was for some long shots before the scene was over.
The filming was done at long last. Big Root opened his eyes, stood up, and saw the female star sitting next to the director and looking at a monitor. He greeted her like a sycophant, but she just glanced at him with disdain. She continued to talk and laugh with the director.
Big Root was not amused. In fact, he was indignant. “Why are you so cocky?” he demanded. “You just kissed me, and your stinky breath grossed me out!”
Little Stem showed up just then. Big Root boasted to him, "Where were you just now? You missed a good show! The lead actress laid down on me and cried, and even kissed me!"
Little Stem wasn’t envious. In fact he laughed so hard he couldn't stand up straight. Big Root got upset and asked, "Why are you laughing? If you don't believe me, ask the director!"
Little Stem kept laughing, "You know where I was just now? I went to remove my makeup! The leading lady heard that the leading man was using a double in this scene, so she didn't want to act in it. The director had me dress up as a woman and double for the leading lady!"
Chinese text at 故事会合订本#165, p. 1-93. Also available here.